namaste

Today is Tuesday and I’m back at work.  On Friday morning, I received a phone call at 7:o0am from a family member; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing…..”Chris is dead, Chris died last night”…..”WHAT”….”WHAT”….that’s all I could keep saying….Chris was my 32 y.o. cousin, we are a tight family and I knew of his struggles with substance abuse, but I never in a million years expected to get that call……he died from a drug overdose (accidental) of heroin.  A girl he knew turned him onto it a little less than a year ago….so since Friday, I have struggled tremendously with my emotions and with death and funerals (Italian Catholic at that) comes much food….I let myself go, I ate whatever and however much I wanted and didn’t stop to even think about what I was doing until last night, as I was driving home to my house, feeling so bloated and totally disgusted with myself….I’m on a team, and not only have a I let myself down, I may have let my team down, I have a few days to get back on track and try to make my team proud before weigh in….but it’s hard emotionally to get motivated right now, I’m both physically and emotionally exhausted and I just want to keep turning to food for my comfort, but that’s not healthy, and I know it…..so I’m at least blogging about it now, to get it out of my head and heart and to make it public to some degree so I stay true to myself and find my way again…..thank you for listening, have a great rest of the week…and…..GO GRIZZLIES!!! 

GO GRIZZLIES!!! Being on a team feels both exhilirating and frightening….exhilirating because I now have the competitive fire fueled inside of me to ‘win’ and yet frightening, because I do not want to let me team members down…I want to be the ‘biggest loser’!!!! Heheheheheehehehehe…kind of like my own reality tv show via cyberspace! Started off a bit rocky yesterday, but feeling it more today…I want to have atleast a one pound loss by Sunday weigh in!!! Wish me luck!!! Thanks…T

Okay, I had lost my motivation…..uh, if I really ever had any to lose to begin with….but anyhow, I have a new found motivation.  I’ve been invited to join a weight loss team on here and boy, oh boy, is that the ticket! I am a very competitive type person and that is always a good thing for me!! I am so motivated and excited, I want to start right this minute, like instead of going for my fourth cup of coffee here at work (using Splenda mind you instead of sugar!), I want a bottle of water! I will also eat the lunch that I brought to work instead of giving in to temptation and ordering out with my colleagues….it’s cheaper this way too! So thank you all for your support and motivation…..it’s tough, really tough…..but I’m ready, I’m more than ready!!
Peace,  Tina

THANK YOU SO MUCH, to all who have commented and to the many ‘thumbs up’ I have received since joining yesterday! I am very new to this site and still figuring all of this out, but I am excited….today I have brought a lunch that consists of fish, baby carrots and low carb, fat free yogurt!! I ate breakfast for the first time in months (a bowl of cereal - grains, bran flakes, etc. with skim milk); I am lovin’ it!! I plan to walk my dog tonight as well…..starting small and taking it slow instead of beating myself up for not being where I was over a year ago when I was really living a healhty lifestyle!  Thanks again to all my buddies! I have requested to add several of you to my buddy list!! Keep on keepin’ on my fellow weight losing friends!!!! 

rn

Peace,  Tina

I use to belong to a gym, worked out about 2 hours a day for about five days a week on average, ate very healthy meals and enjoyed my weight loss and overall increased well-being.  Then LIFE happened, (excuses really….) and I backed off of doing all the things that made me feel well and before I knew it, I had gained about 22 lbs of the 56 I had lost back, and I continue to gain. 

rn

I no longer can afford a gym membership, but I can do other things to workout (i.e. walking my dog, bike riding, hiking, playing softball, etc.) I keep saying each week that I am going to “…starting Monday, eat better and exercise more”, only to allow myself some time to continue to eat poorly and by Monday, be unprepared for a my lifestyle change and then decide as the week progresses, …..”okay, next Monday I will get serious and prepare for my wellness…” but yet again, I get busy over the weekend and do not plan out what meals I will have, have the food available to eat healthy, or if I do, I let them go bad (fruits and veggies…opting for fast food because it’s quicker), etc.

rn

This has to stop….I am down to being able to wear only a few pants/shorts, my tops are getting tight, and I feel lethargic all the time…..I KNOW what I need to do, I’ve been an athlete on and off most of my life, I workout, I love sweating…but I just keep putting it off…..well, not anymore, the more motivation and support I can find, the better….so there you have it!  Looking forward to meeting like-minded individuals and getting that support AND motivation that I seem to lack currently.  Take care….

rn

Tina